I asked Coach Justan to write on article on being fit while single. This was the result of that conversation.
As you get older dating becomes more and more of a challenge for a few reasons. One, I have my baggage but so do they. So dating becomes more of a lesson in perseverance than it does looking for love. Hopefully love is in there somewhere so let’s dig in.
First let’s start here, I have standards, which is probably why I am single. As you get older it’s much more about what you won’t tolerate rather than what you will. I have seen good and bad examples of this from my friends that got married. What I can say is that the ones doing it the best seem to compromise on the right things. Conversely they don’t compromise on the things that are important.
I was recently on a date that I met through an online dating site. I always think it’s interesting how people feel about this, there is no way that it’s worse than meeting someone at a bar. You go into it (and so do they) knowing that it’s probably not going to work out and therefore the stakes just aren’t that high.
As a fit person people meet you with expectations and this one date certainly did. I think he saw my pictures and thought, this person does things similar to how I do them.
We were eating at an italian restaurant, I was at the gym maybe two hours earlier and I was HUNGRY. We had our initial chit chat and he seemed like an OK guy. The waiter brought out bread to get us started and so I dove in.
“YOU EAT BREAD!”
Ok, I might be over-dramatizing but he was genuinely shocked. All I could think in my head was “strike one buddy, be careful”.
I casually explained that as a coach for a nutrition company that calories are a big deal, meaning more, in terms of my recovery and building muscle.
He didn’t seem to buy it.
He even asked how much more muscle do I need? (Strike Two)
Next up, ordering dinner. We hadn’t established who would pay at this point and frankly I am not sure it occurred to him until I started to order. I was perfectly fine handling my own business.
I got a salad to start and then steak and pasta.
“OK OK don’t carbs make you FAT!”
WHOA buddy, you are just going to break out the F word right here and now?
If the bread thing was strike one and the muscle thing was strike two this was the rest of them.
Honestly it would have been fine that he had these preconceived notions about food and muscle, it certainly wasn’t a deal breaker.
But as we talked it just wasn’t a great fit.
I probably need a good spreadsheet guy that likes fitted sheets in my life but I am a gal that likes to live life in a joyous way.
I didn’t get the impression that was his jam so I am still looking but I thought you all might find this funny.
Even the programs that reverse don’t do a good job because they cave to the fear of their clients or they let AI (artificial intelligence) do the work.